SPARKS FLEW

I must become good through my own efforts, without examples and without good advice. Then later on, i shall be all the stronger. Who, besides me will ever read those letters? From whom but myself shall i get comfort? As i need comforting often, I frequently feel weak and dissatisfied with myself because my shortcomings are too great. I know this and every day i try to improve my self again and again. I am not a baby or a spoiled darling anymore to be laughed at. i have my own views, plans and ideas, though i cant put them into words yet. oh. so many things bubble up inside me as i lie in bed, having to put up with people i am fed up with, who always misinterpret my intentions.
That is where i start and finish.

It was mighty difficult to be on such model behavior with people you can't bear, especially when you don't mean a word of it. But I do really see that i get better by shamming a bit, instead of my old habit of telling everyone exactly what i think
(although no one ever asked my opinion or attached the slightest importance to it.)

I often lose my cue and simply can't swallow my rage at some injustice, don't you think that sometimes i have cause for complaints? Its a good thing i am not a grouser, because then i might get sour and bad-tempered. I am really curious to know what will come of it all, but i don't think the plan will come off.

i PROMISE i will find my own way through it all, and swallow my tears.
I only wish i could see the results occasionally or even receive an encouragement from the people who loves me.

Don't condemn me, remember rather that sometimes i too can reach the bursting point.

LAY IT ALL DOWN

Got a fist of pure emotion.
Got a head of shattered dreams.

A tumblr message from a stranger

Hello sweetie! You're not at all a watered-down version of Delilah. I reckon that you're much prettier than all those Disney princesses in their stunning long gowns and much sexier than all those Amazon warriors I fancy when I was younger. I mean it. :)

A random thought in a box.

Take chances, take a lot of them. Because honestly, no matter where you end up and with whom, it always ends up just the way it should be. Your mistakes make you who you are. You learn and grow with each choice you make.

Everything is worth it.

Say how you feel always. Be you and be okay with it. :)

RETREAT PREPARATIONS et al

Yearly, Saint William's School (my alma mater and where I am currently employed) conducts a faculty retreat. I am excited at first because this is my first retreat with my co-workers and its a major plus that the venue is one of my dream destinations- that is Puerto Princesa, Palawan, Philippines. It will be a four day retreat. 

Preparation:

I stayed at Ma'am Del's house since the group will leave at 2am (since I'm coming from far away place). There, we prepared all the necessary things that we should bring like breakfast (we had home made chao fan and beef tapa) snacks ( we had ham and cheese sandwich). We didn't have the chance to take a nap since we reached their house at 8pm because we attended that La Naval procession right after the mass. After eating dinner, we took turns to have our bath and do our rituals and final checking of our luggage. It was so sweet because Ma'am Del prepared a personalized bag tag for me with all my personal information written on it. I did not expect it so the happiness i felt was mutual (haha meganon) We went to school at exactly 10 pm (Sunday) because some of the teachers, Ma'am Del and I collaborated that we will stay at the faculty room so that we won't disturb our housemates during that 1am departure and apparently the two of us were only the persons who seriously took the plan. Others arrived between 10:30 to 11:00 pm: not bad. We slept (or should I say nap) at the faculty room and I don't know what happened afterwards. I woke up at 1 and everyone is already there and they are all ready (except me, AWKWARD) though everyone is still waiting for the bus (Victory Liner 1807).

Here are some pictures at the bus:

Dra. Nancy and Ma'am Del

with my co teachers: Ma'am Alviz, Ma'am Juna and Ma'am Gold

Sir Bam

Ma'am Openg and Sister Leonila (ha ha)

We left school earlier than expected and we say the rosary as our morning praise. 

I slept again. and again. and again. I did not even notice the stop over. I just woke up when we are already at Makati and it is already 4 something in the morning. We reached then the airport and do the necessary things

needed for checking in. 

checking my ticket

pictures while waiting

We were all excited not until our flight was delayed 2x but then look at our happy faces while waiting.

The plane:

my seatmates Dra.Nancy and Sir Bam :)

the group parallel to us

what a beautiful sky

Puerto Princesa Airport

We waited for our baggage (as usual) and we rode the tourist van rented by the school. We stayed at Saint Ezekiel Moreno Spirituality and Development Center. We went directly to the Retreat House, took our lunch and rest. The formal session of our retreat started at 4 pm and ended at 9:30. After which, we went to our room and say our group rosary, took a shower and sleep. 

This was our first day our Palawan and hope you enjoyed my post. 

I will also make a blog about the remaining 3 days of our stay at Puerto SOON. :>

CYCLE

I am in the state of metamorphosis.
Suffering the lost of myself.

Famous Last Words

Today, I am beginning to accept what has happened to me, but I don't understand it. Perhaps acceptance is a new beginning. Maybe, understanding will never come. The more one understands oneself, the easier it is to be liberated from the chains of useless and negative thinking. 


TODAY'S ADVICE: Feel the pain until it hurts no more.